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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Blog 8. Two Biggest issues

One of my biggest issue was turning the paper in time. The main reason why i turned in my paper late was, Because i had some family issues. Two of my little brothers were fighting and i tried to break up the fight and ended up with 12 Staples on my head, so this whole incident made me fall behind.

Another issue was my paper needed organization. For example in paragraph i would repeat the same ideas at different times and i should have focused on one specific thing per paragraph. For example in paragraph two, one time i was talking about the cheetah and the next minute i was talking about something different. So i should have focused on the Cheetah first then focus on other important things.



Another issue was developing my paragraphs. At the end of each paragraph i should have tied in the thesis to my claim. For example in paragraph two towards the end, i should have tied my thesis to my claim and also, i should have made a new paragraph because i was talking a different topic.



Also, in paragraph four towards the end i should have tied the color to my thesis so it could support my claim.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, my goodness. In an exceptional situation like that, you should come to me and explain the situation. I can offer some lenience. I adjusted your paper grade on Carmen.

    Nice use of concrete evidence to explain your corrections. Grade: 1/1

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