Another issue was my paper needed organization. For example in paragraph i would repeat the same ideas at different times and i should have focused on one specific thing per paragraph. For example in paragraph two, one time i was talking about the cheetah and the next minute i was talking about something different. So i should have focused on the Cheetah first then focus on other important things.
Another issue was developing my paragraphs. At the end of each paragraph i should have tied in the thesis to my claim. For example in paragraph two towards the end, i should have tied my thesis to my claim and also, i should have made a new paragraph because i was talking a different topic.
Also, in paragraph four towards the end i should have tied the color to my thesis so it could support my claim.